lump sat alone in a boggy marsh

Well, technically it was my armpit.

gross.

I said I would post about whatever life threw my way. Life did not throw lemons. It threw bacterial infection. This is some gnarly stuff, feel free to leave the post now. Its not a post about self pity or anything of that sort, just kinda whats going on in my health. Which I generally don't pay enough attention to I guess. I don't do anything bad for me. I don't smoke or do drugs. A party maybe once a month, but I'm such a light weight I'm not sure if I can even say I drink then. Over all I'd say I'm okay in the health department.

My body thinks otherwise.

I got this bump a few months a go and it hurt pretty badly but with the insane fear of needles i possess there was no way I was going to the doctor. I'm talking they bring out the cotton ball and I start crying kind of fear. So no, thanks, no doctor for me. Finally it went away and I was pretty proud of myself. Then it came back last week with an odd ring around it and I was sore all up my lower arm and the side of my boob. Still, I could survive until it decided it was done here. Then I got sick at the mall.

Ever since I can remember I have these dizzy spells, and my vision gets a bit blurry. These past few weeks Its gone from a little dizzy to throwing up and fainting (only for a few seconds, but still!). So I've done that whole ordeal twice this week and once last week. My friends and boyfriend were going to knock me out and take me themselves if I kept resisting. Reluctantly, I went.

Worst mistake of my life. Bump, whose name is Nova, hurts much much worse now then it ever did before. They gave Nova a squeeze and said "yep, you need minor surgery. Are you up for that now?" It wasn't really a question. It had to be done either then or two hours later. The nurse, who was a nice lady that seemed like she didn't belong in a profession that caused 20 year olds to cry, took me into the procedure room. Procedure rooms are scary. This was my first minor surgery ever and I was all alone because I refused to let Lin come back with me. I laid on the crinkly tissue paper they have on the bed and immediately started tearing up. Nice nurse had a needle in her hand.

Sensing that i was distressed (and by sensing I mean she noticed she now needed rain boots and a straight jacket to hold me) she tried to calm me down by telling me that it shouldn't hurt for more than a few seconds and then would become numb from the Novocaine. I informed her that a few seconds was far too long and do you please please have numbing gel? Foiled! They totally did. She rubbed the cold goop on Nova and said they would be back in about fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes went by and all I could think about was evil doctors with very sharp pointy objects. Then one came in and I started tearing up again. Masked doctor was not very kind. He poked at Nova with his hand and to my displeasure, it HURT. It seemed his feathers were a bit ruffled at the fact that I was still not numb but he was busy and there was only one thing left to do. Regrettably for me he did not rub me down with more cold goop. He pulled a needle out of no where and shot fire into Nova, and my whole body in general. I was not a happy camper. Not only was it extremely uncomfortable, but it didn't even work. I felt him squeezing and prodding and everything. Then, while shoving gauze into the gash, he informed me that I would have to get blood drawn afterward.

I could have died of exhaustion of stressing myself out so much. To make this long story a bit shorter, have been back to get re-cut twice, have to keep going back until Tuesday, got my blood drawn and am still waiting for the results. The worst part? They think I'm diabetic so I didn't even get ice cream.

If you've never listened to 'lump' go do it. The Presidents of the USA are quite comical. At least that song is, I cant honestly recall if I've ever heard anything else by them. Eat an Ice cream while you're doing it, just for me.