sweet dreams

my emotions are running wilder than my imagination. maybe i'll put them to rest.

im an aspiring studier

but right now i feel as though my brain could very possibly turn to mush if i keep going. so for the next 4 minutes im going to sit here and talk about whatever i want. which, surprisingly, has nothing to do with math.

i know that on my next post i want to talk about something meaningful but today is a rant and rave kind of feeling. so here it goes.

-she is driving me crazy. not the good kind.
-he is driving me crazy. and i can't tell how i feel about it.
-my hands are always cold now that its winter and im not a happy camper.
-i wish i could blow a hundred dollars at michaels right about now, my creative juices are pumpin.
-topperton has ear mites ):
-im super excited for this semester to be over and for spring term to get underway.

i think that might be all. or at least everything i can think of in the 4 minute time frame i allowed myself. back to homework.

i think i might have something important to say

but as of right now i just cant put my finger on what it is. if i could i would hope it would be inspiring or enlightening, heartfelt and special. but right now all i have is this.

this is equally important. this is all i have right now and you can only make the best of whatever this is. i wish i could tell you what it means, how it is effecting me, and why it suddenly decided to make its self known.

maybe tomorrow.

even though class is over

i still feel like this is an excellent way for me to get my thoughts out there. sometimes i think getting to see what youre thinking makes it slightly more real. like maybe since other people can see your thoughts they can tell you that you're wrong, crazy or completely have the world figured out. I would not fit in any of those categories. maybe a i would dip into the crazy pool, but i dont think i would make that big of a splash.

whats going on in my world? matt and i just got back from our california adventure. san fransisco up to crescent city. through eureka and up to medford, bend and finally ftown. we went to his grandfathers celebration of life and now we're back to boise doing the same ol same. but i can feel the change. matt has drill for the next two weeks. even though they're the come home at night kind, i know that this is the beginning to how its going to feel when he's actually gone. i can hardly believe all the changes coming. it feels like they're racing to me and im still in the pit. i wish life would at least give me time to put my helmet on.

Nothing like life to give you a reality check.

Theres so much going on right now that I couldn't even pick a topic to blog about. So I guess I'll give a general overview and get back to the mad rush.

We've gotten rid of 2 servers, 3 bussers and 1 kitchen hand. This means Im working doubles my whole life and giving new hire orientations bright and early when possible. It also means I have a whole load of paper work to print and staple, files to organize, steak certification classes to prepare, and still need to update the ready set go board. In the mist of that, I'm trying to enjoy work, stay in touch with peoples lives and keep coworkers from fearing that they're going to lose their jobs. Also, June seems to be when all the grumpy people emerge. Which is odd because you would think the sunshine would make people happy.

On Thursday Matt got a call saying his Grandpa wasn't doing too well and he should come to Fruitland if at all possible. I was working and didn't want him waiting on me. By 12:30 him and topper made it home with heavy shoulders and puffy eyes. Seeing Matt so upset is one of the hardest things I've ever laid eyes on. I was trying to be the best support system I could manage. We made plans to go back down Friday, I was suppose to be off work by 8 at the latest.

So Friday I'm working a double and dont have my phone on me because all the big wigs are in testing our managers and there's no way either one of us can afford to lose the other so I'm not going to take any chances. I got off around 8:15 and ran to the back room so I could call matt and let him know I was on my way. I had 7 texts that weren't twitters. Most were Matt. His grandpa had passed away around 4:30. He was waiting for me to get home. He had left. He wanted me to meet him in Fruitland. Lin had texted me. The apartment above us had caught fire. Kari texted me. The tranny in her fiances car went out so they have to find somewhere else to cut the wedding budget and our friend crystal just found out she's prego.

let me insert here that life is very ironic. a death and a new life in the same day.

I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. We've made multiple ftown trips and its hard every time. Seeing the person I love and the family I've come to love in so much pain is not easy. Poor Matt has lost two grandparents this year. I've only ever lost one, and she was my Great Grandma. The Canas' are amazing people and I admire them for the strength they show through these hard times.

Luckily, the fire from upstairs only effected the one apartment. I was worried because the text simply stated that our building was on fire and the fire department was there. Needless to say, I signed up for renters insurance.

Kari has no idea what she's going to do. She's had to redo the budget multiple times already and in the last month they've had to get new tires, alter the cake plans and her grandma who was suppose to be cooking for the big day decided to move back to the Philippines. without telling her. As Maid of Honor, its my duty to figure out what in the world we're going to do now.

As for Crystal, I'm excited she's having a baby but I wish she would have been more careful because she's not ready for that yet.

I'm ready for Wednesday. The start of my weekend. Matt and I are headed out for a backpacking two day trip and we both need the get away. I hope ya'll are doing well. Back to the grind.

Kari's here!!

Hidden in the damp cracks of Washington are very grey, very shabby, very odd towns that you should never live in. I'm speaking from experience here, so take my advice. Granite Falls is the most perfect example I can think of. Its like, meth capital of the world. Living there was scary, cold and depressing. People get into drugs, get pregnant, and never leave. We left summer after my Freshman year of high school and the only good thing that came out of it was one of my most precious friends, Miss Karilyn Gibbs.


So we've been friends since like, seventh grade and are constantly traveling between the two states to visit each other and keep each other included in the most important events in our lives. We went to each others senior proms, graduations, vacations, Christmas with each others families, and just little trips for fun. This week, she's been here because she's getting married August 9th and then moving to Boise. Mostly, its so we can be closer to each other, and we lucked out and the fiance loves it down here




This week we've been going into any and all places of business to pick up job applications, stopping at every place that has a 'now leasing' sign to find apartments and planning a wedding. Its been an amazing visit and I'm not ready for her to go home on Saturday morning. Until then, we're taking her hiking tomorrow, shopping tonight and out to eat as often as we can.

I know that I'm very lucky to have her in my life. I remember my parents telling me that you're a wealthy person if you have 3 truly real friends in your life. If it turns out that she's my only one ever, I will be the happiest person on the planet.

I wear the pants around here.

Matt and I have a problem making up our minds when it comes to anything at all. Example A:

Him: "What should we do for dinner?"
Me: "I don't care, what ever you want"
Him: "but I don't know what I want!"
Me: "well make up your mind!"
Him: "How about spaghetti?"
Me: "Thats fine. Or we could do tacos."
Him: "yeah that sounds good. Or Chili Mac."

**twenty minutes of THAT goes by**

Both: "we're getting subway."

This happens for everything. Mostly dinner, but everything else too ranging from what we want to do on the weekend to what we need to buy first, a pistol or a new bed. However, when one of us finally does make up our mind you know its going to happen, no doubts.

On Wednesday I decided we were going to go camping. I woke up with the strongest urge and I immediately rolled over and shook Matt. He grunted for a while and hid under the blankets, so I jumped on him for a bit until he begrudgingly, and with a glare of evil in the purest sense, sat up in bed, his dark hair pointed every which way and his eyes open only a quarter of the way. This wasn't the first time I've woken him up like this. It happens when I get an itch to do something important.

So here I am, all grins and sunshine with 932937 forms of energy radiating through me (which he knew to recognize as a bad thing) and a half dead boy in my bed.

Him: "What. Do. You. Want?!"
Me: "Good morning sunshine! get up! we're going camping!!"

At this point, he tries to push me off the bed and rolls back over. jerk.

Through fits of laughter, I explain to him my brilliant plan full of camp fires and hiking and card games. We bantered playfully back and forth about the plan. He said it was a silly plan full of holes. So I didn't know where we would go. So he worked in the morning and I had orientation. So we didn't have any camping gear. blah blah blah. "Pish posh! who cares? lets camp!!" More glares. So I resorted to politely telling him that I'm the boss around here and if I say we're going camping, then we're going camping. Matt then successfully pushed me off the bed.

After I climb back into the pit (our beds pretty broken. its old and needs to be retired) it starts raining. Raining on all my hopes and dreams of camping.

Me: "well if we're not going to go camping, what are we going to do?" I ask with the biggest pout I can muster.
Him: "lets have an inside day."
Me: "okay. should we play a game?"
Him: "we could. Or we could do the laundry."
Me: *shocked silence. He can't be serious.*

**a few silent seconds...**
Both: "Barnes and Noble!"

The good thing is, we will be going camping soon! Kinda. We decided we really want to try backpacking and I'm super stoked. We've been going to camel back and practicing timing our hiking with Topper and when we get our gear together we're going to do trial runs up in the foot hills. We're taking a vacation in July to the redwoods and hopefully we'll be able to find a few good day trails to explore! Knowing us, we'll figure it out eventually.